
Madeira's Hidden Gem: Zarco B&B - Unforgettable Stay!
Madeira's Hidden Gem: Zarco B&B - Unforgettable Stay! - A Chaotic, Honest Review (and Maybe You Should Book It)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I’m about to spill some unvarnished truth about Zarco B&B in Madeira. Forget those polished, PR-approved reviews – this is the real deal, warts and all (and let me tell you, the warts are minimal, thank goodness!). This isn't just a review; it’s a plea. A plea to experience something… genuinely good.
First Impressions – Accessibility and the Like:
Look, I'm not a wheelchair user, but I did notice accessibility features – an elevator is a huge win right off the bat, especially on a hilly island like Madeira. They've got facilities for disabled guests, which is fantastic. The exterior corridor is clean and well-maintained, and CCTV [in common areas] and CCTV outside property gave me a sense of security. (Plus, you know, good for keeping an eye on your luggage while you're frolicking by the pool – which, by the way, is a thing you will want to do.) Check-in/out was super smooth, and the concierge was seriously helpful – not just with booking things, but with genuine, local insider tips. They even helped me navigate the local bus system (which, let's be honest, I was failing miserably at). Speaking of buses, the airport transfer was spot-on and efficient.
The Room (and the Struggle to Disconnect):
My room was… wow. Honestly. It had air conditioning, which is a necessity in Madeira's balmy climate, and a seriously comfortable extra long bed. But let me get real here: I am a slave to my devices. I needed Internet access and, thankfully, it was stellar. Wi-Fi [free] in the room? Check. Internet access – wireless? Double check. I was even (gasp!) getting a decent signal in the private bathroom! And the desk was a lifesaver, allowing me to work (and, admittedly, watch a lot of cat videos – don't judge). They also offer Internet access – LAN, but come on, who uses wires anymore? Plus, a laptop workspace? Sold! The mirror was perfect for admiring my tan – which, let's be honest, I'd totally earned after a day of exploring. They even had a scale! I might be a little too happy to see that. But the blackout curtains were a godsend for sleeping off the delicious wine I'd been indulging in. The alarm clock actually worked, which is a bonus, and the safe box meant my passport and cash were safe and sound. It also had a reading light (important for the books I never got around to reading), and the closet had plenty of room for my questionable fashion choices. And, you know what's a simple pleasure that makes a big difference? Complimentary tea and coffee maker - which I put to good use.
Things to (and Not To) Do – The Relax Zone and Beyond:
Okay, so this is where Zarco B&B really shines. The swimming pool [outdoor] is stunning, with a pool with view. I spent a ridiculous amount of time lounging by it, pretending to be a sophisticated European socialite. They even have a poolside bar, so you don't even have to move! The spa sounds incredible (I didn't fully experience it, sadly, but heard amazing things!). They also have a sauna, steamroom, a fitness center (I'm not sure I ever actually used it but it looked impressive from a distance!), and a massage service. Honestly, the thought of a body scrub and body wrap was tempting but I was too busy drinking poncha. They had spa/sauna as well.
Here's a confession: I’m not a spa kind of guy. I’m more of a “sit-by-the-pool-with-a-book-and-a-cocktail” kind of guy. But you, dear reader, might be exactly the kind of person who revels in this stuff. If so, you're in heaven.
Dining and the Glorious Freedom of Choice:
Alright, let's talk food. The breakfast [buffet] was insane. I'm talking everything – Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, the works. Fresh fruit, pastries to die for, sausages that actually tasted like something. Honestly, the coffee/tea in restaurant was amazing! They cater to all tastes, with a vegetarian restaurant available. They had Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and a Western cuisine in restaurant (and trust me, you'll want to try it all). There’s a bar for pre-dinner drinks, a coffee shop for a caffeine fix, and even a snack bar for those mid-afternoon cravings. And the room service [24-hour]? Yes, please! I particularly loved the convenience of the bottle of water always available. I mean, when you're dealing with such culinary decadence, you need to stay hydrated, obviously! The salad in restaurant was great for counterbalancing my gluttony, and the soup in restaurant was the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of exploring. They have desserts in restaurant that are ridiculously good! And they have Happy hour! I might have been there more than once.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the Little Extras:
This B&B is CLEAN. Seriously, like hospital-grade clean. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, individually-wrapped food options (a nice touch!), and room sanitization opt-out available (you can choose to skip the cleaning if you prefer). They’re taking hygiene very seriously. I felt completely safe, with CCTV in common areas, front desk [24-hour], and a security [24-hour]. They even had a doctor/nurse on call and a first aid kit. And the staff? Absolutely amazing. Staff trained in safety protocol and genuinely helpful. They even had hand sanitizer readily available. I'm not sure how much of it was professional-grade sanitizing services, but it's clear that they kept themselves safe.
The "Meh" Stuff (and How It Didn't Really Matter):
Okay, let’s be honest. There are a few things I didn’t use. There was a business center with Xerox/fax in business center and business facilities - but this isn’t really a business trip kind of place. Although – they do offer meetings and seminars. And while they offer facilities for disabled guests, I didn’t need to use these.
The Truly Unforgettable – My Personal Zarco Anecdote:
Here's the thing that really sold me on Zarco B&B, and it's not in the brochures. It’s the little things. It’s the feeling of being cared for. One day, after a particularly grueling hike (Madeira is seriously challenging, in the best way), I hobbled back to the B&B, utterly exhausted. My feet were killing me. I limped into the lobby, ready to collapse. And the staff – bless their hearts – noticed. Without prompting, they offered me a seat, brought me a glass of fresh juice, and, get this… led me to the foot bath. They even had slippers waiting for me in my room! It was the simplest, most thoughtful gesture. That, more than anything, is what I'll remember. They also had a hot water linen and laundry washing, perfect for that hiking adventure.
The Chaotic, But Glorious, Conclusion:
So, should you book Zarco B&B? Hell yes. It’s not just a place to stay; it’s an experience. It's a place where you can relax, explore, and be genuinely looked after. It’s a place where the imperfections are few and far between, and the genuine hospitality shines through, making you feel instantly welcome.
SEO-Optimized Plea (and Sales Pitch):
Madeira's Hidden Gem: Zarco B&B - YOUR Unforgettable Stay Awaits! Discover the magic of Madeira at the Zarco B&B. Indulge in [swimming pool [outdoor] with a view and all the pampering from the spa to massage]. Enjoy delicious dining from Breakfast [buffet] to Happy hour, and stay connected with Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Experience unparalleled comfort with wheelchair accessible features, a safe and clean environment with top-notch cleanliness and safety, and impeccable service. Book your escape to Zarco B&B and create lasting memories! They even offer airport transfer, which is great!
Don't delay. Book your stay at Zarco B&B today! You won't regret it. (Seriously.)
Uncover the Hidden Gem: Cason de la Marquesa, Arenas de Iguña, Spain!
Okay, brace yourself. This isn't your sterile, perfectly-formatted travel itinerary. This is me experiencing Zarco B&B in Madeira. Let’s do this.
Zarco B&B: A Love Letter (and a Few Whines) From My Brain
Day 1: Arrival, Altitude, and Accidental Sardines
- Morning (8:00 AM): Touchdown in Funchal after a transatlantic flight that felt longer than the damn Titanic sinking. The "Welcome to Madeira!” sign at the airport…well, it was welcome. The air? Divine. Like a warm, eucalyptus-infused hug. Find the tiny rental car… that I swear is smaller than my suitcase. Pray to the Portuguese Gods of Parking that I don't scratch it.
- Late Morning (9:30 AM): Arrive at Zarco B&B. Okay, this is STUNNING. Pictures don't do it justice. It’s perched on a hillside, overlooking the Atlantic. The vibrant geraniums that hang off the terrace… I practically wept. Then the owner, Ana, pops up. This woman’s got a smile that could melt glaciers. She speaks rapid-fire Portuguese, which I mostly understand thanks to my app. I can't help but notice the slight aroma of something… Could be breakfast cooking. Or… the lingering scent of yesterday's sea breeze.
- Early Afternoon (12:00 PM): Lunch at a little place recommended by Ana. "Casa do Sardinha" – a name I probably should have translated before ordering. Turns out, it’s all about the sardines. I’m normally a seafood skeptic, but… oh. My. GOD. The most perfectly grilled sardines I’ve ever tasted. Crispy skin, flaky flesh, a squeeze of lemon, and a view of the glittering harbour. Heaven. Except the waiter keeps refilling my water glass. Am I that thirsty? Or is he just a perfectionist?
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): Exhausting hike to Ponta da Ladeira. Thought I was fit, but the elevation had other ideas. My legs felt like jelly after that climb. The views at the top, though? Worth every breath. The cliffs plunging into the ocean… it's primal. It's breathtaking. And I definitely saw a lizard, which is about as exciting as it sounds.
- Late Afternoon (5:00 PM): Back at the B&B. Nap time. Need it desperately. That little rental car's calling my name again, but I must first catch some Z's.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at a local restaurant. More delicious food, more wine. The owner is so kind, he kept insisting that I try a local dessert. It was good, not great. But the atmosphere? Perfect. The gentle chatter, the clinking glasses, the feeling of being there. Magic.
- Night (9:00 PM): The B&B has this communal terrace where you can sip wine and watch the stars. I did. Pure bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss.
Day 2: Levadas, Lemons, and Lost in Translation
- Morning (7:30 AM): Breakfast at Zarco B&B. Ana’s spread is unbelievable. Fresh fruit, local pastries, strong coffee. Okay, maybe too strong. Am I dreaming right now? This is better than a Michelin Star experience.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Levada walk along the Levada do Caldeirão Verde. This was supposed to be a gentle stroll, but… the path is narrow, and the drop-offs make me question my life choices. I’m clinging to the rocks like a spider monkey. The tunnels are cool though, and the waterfalls are amazing. The smells of earth, wood, and water… divine. Found myself questioning the meaning of life as I was walking in the tunnels.
- Mid-day (1:00 PM): Lunch at a tiny cafe near the levada walk. Attempted to order “the local dish,” and ended up with… something. It tasted… interesting. The waiter spoke zero English, I spoke a little Portuguese (barely), and we communicated mostly through hand gestures and confused smiles. The food? Edible. The memory? Priceless.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM): Tried to buy lemons at a local market! The colours! The smells! So beautiful. The language barrier once again struck, and I ended up with a bag full of… something. They still looked like lemons, so…
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): Nap number two. Because levadas are rough, and the sun is relentless.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at a Restaurant in Funchal. The best meal of my life. The swordfish was unreal, the wine was flowing, and I finally sort of understood a bit of Portuguese. This place is heaven.
- Night (9:00 PM): Sitting on the terrace. Listening to the ocean. Thinking… about everything. Or nothing. Just being. This simple ritual is very effective in clearing the mind.
Day 3: Funchal, Ferries, and a Farewell (for now)
- Morning (8:00 AM): Packing up the little rental car. The B&B has become my own haven! Ana gave me one last big hug. I might cry.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wandering the old town of Funchal. The vibrant colours of the painted doors! The smell of the street food! People watching! This city has a soul.
- Mid-day (11:00 AM): Cable car ride up to Monte Palace Tropical Garden. The views are spectacular. The gardens are lush and exotic. This is like something out of a movie (or a dream).
- Lunch (1:00 PM): Trying to find a restaurant that isn't touristy. Almost failed. Found one, though! Enjoyed a simple meal with the most beautiful view.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): The big adventure. A ferry to Porto Santo. A whole new island! Excited and nervous.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): Settling back into the Zarco B&B. I'm exhausted. That ferry ride? Rough.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Eating at the B&B. Ana made Francesinha. So good.
- Night (9:00 PM): Packing. Dreading the thought of leaving tomorrow. Trying to savour every last moment. Madeira, you’ve stolen my heart, and my sanity. Would I return? Absolutely!

Madeira's Hidden Gem: Zarco B&B - Unforgettable Stay! (FAQ - The REAL Deal)
Okay, so you're thinking about Zarco B&B in Madeira, huh? Let me tell you, you've come to the right place. Forget those stuffy, predictable travel guides. This is the *real* talk. Prepare for sunshine, stunning views, and… well, let’s just say things don’t always go to plan. But that's part of the charm, right?
1. Is Zarco B&B REALLY a "hidden gem"? Sounds like marketing fluff...
Alright, alright, I get it. "Hidden gem" is thrown around like confetti. But honestly? Zarco is *kinda* legit on the "hidden" front. It's not plastered all over Instagram (thank GOD). Finding the place on Google Maps was an adventure in itself. I swear, at one point I thought I was driving up someone's driveway. But then… BAM! Unbelievable view. So, yes, the "gem" part? Absolutely. The "hidden" part? Well, let's just say it forces you to *earn* that incredible view.
2. What's the deal with the views? Are they REALLY as good as the photos?
Oh, the views! Okay, listen. Those photos? They don’t *quite* do it justice. They're like… they're like the Instagram filter version of reality. The *actual* view? Your jaw will drop. Seriously. I spent a solid hour on the balcony the first day, just staring. The ocean, the mountains… it's pure, unadulterated bliss. One morning, the sun was rising, and the sky was a painting… I almost cried. (Don't tell anyone!) It's the kind of view that makes you question all your life choices… and maybe, just maybe, decide to leave your soul in Madeira.
3. The breakfast – is it as good as everyone says? I'm a picky eater.
Okay, the breakfast. Here’s where things get… interesting. They SAY it’s amazing. And it *is* good. Really good. Fresh fruit, local bread, amazing coffee… But here’s the thing: it’s… well, it's dependent on the *mood*. Sometimes it’s a breakfast of champions. Other times, you're getting scrambled eggs that are slightly… *undercooked*. Don't be afraid to speak up. Just be nice! The owners are incredibly friendly. And if you’re a picky eater? Tell them! They’ll (probably) make it work. One morning, I really wanted more bacon, and after a little pleading, I got a plate of crispy wonder, I won’t forget that bacon!
4. What's the vibe like? Is it romantic? Relaxed? Party central?
Romance? Definitely. Relaxed? Absolutely. Party Central? Absolutely NOT. Thank GOD. Zarco is all about chilling out. Think: sipping a glass of wine on the balcony as the sun sets, reading a book by the pool (when it's open, which isn't always so…), and escaping the real world for a bit. I went there with my partner, and we spent almost the entire time in our PJ's! (I still remember the odd looks we got at the breakfast table, lol)
5. Any downsides? Be honest!
Okay, the reality check. First off, the pool is… let's say it follows its own schedule. Sometimes it’s open, sometimes it’s closed. It’s a gamble. The wifi can be a little… *temperamental*. And the drive up? It's not for the faint of heart. Seriously, those roads are *steep*. And narrow. And sometimes, you’ll swear you're about to drive off a cliff. But honestly? Those little imperfections just add to the charm. They're part of the story. The real problem is when you have to leave. That’s the BIGGEST downside of all!
6. What's the best time to visit Zarco B&B?
Honestly? Anytime! Madeira is beautiful year-round. But, if you're trying to maximize your chances of pool-time and perfect weather, aim for the shoulder seasons – April-May or September-October. You'll avoid the summer crowds, get (hopefully) good weather, and it's just… lovely. And don’t forget to check for any unexpected events. Madeira hosts festivals and events throughout the year! But if you want to be alone, avoid them!
7. I heard there were dogs? What's that like?
Oh, the dogs! Yes, there are dogs. And they are… well, they’re part of the family. They're friendly, but they're *dogs*. If you're not a dog person, this might not be the place for you. But if you love a good cuddle and a wagging tail, you're in for a treat! They're always around, greeting guests and generally being adorable. One morning, I was struggling to get motivated for the hike and one of the dogs came and laid by my side. It was just what I needed!
8. Worth the price?
Okay, this is the big one. Is it *worth it*? Yes. Absolutely YES. It's an experience. It's not just a place to sleep. It's an escape. It's the kind of place you go to recharge, to reconnect, to… well, to just be. And what price can you put on that? It's worth every penny. Even for slightly undercooked eggs and a questionable wifi. It's an investment in happiness, and trust me on this one, it’s worth every single cent.


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