Unbelievable Deals: OYO Hotel Kings, Clovis, NM - Book Now!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause we're diving headfirst into the murky, sometimes wonderful, world of hotel reviews. Today's victim (I mean, subject) is Unbelievable Deals: OYO Hotel Kings, Clovis, NM - Book Now! Let's see if this deal actually lives up to its name, shall we? Forget polished PR, this is unfiltered, real-life hotel rambling.
First Impressions & My Initial Reaction (Let's be real, it's important):
Clovis, New Mexico. Okay. I gotta admit, my expectations weren't exactly soaring sky-high. But hey, a deal's a deal, and I'm always up for an adventure (or at least, an escape from doing laundry). The website… well, it's a website. Functional. Let's be polite and call it "minimalist". Book Now! That's the siren call, right? This review is mostly helpful for SEO, I have to make sure it is ranked properly.
Okay, I'm in. Let's break this down… (deep breath)
Accessibility (The Good, the "Meh," and the "Huh?"):
- Wheelchair accessible: The website doesn't specify but I would assume every hotel has their share of wheelchair accessible rooms. Check the website or feel free to make a call beforehand.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Well, that's vague isn't it? Again, phone call time.
- Elevator: A good sign, right? Means at least some rooms are reachable without StairMaster-ing it. But is it reliable? Does it smell like old cigarettes? These are the real questions, people.
The "Wow, You Got All That?!?" Section – Amenities Galore (or Not, Depending):
- Internet Access, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!, Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Wi-Fi for special events: Okay, that's a lot of Internet. Are we talking lightning-fast fiber optic, or dial-up from the early '90s? (Shudders). Free Wi-Fi is a must-have in this day and age. Bonus points if it reaches the pool.
- Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor]: A pool! In Clovis! I'm picturing desert vistas. Even if the "view" is technically the parking lot, a pool is always a plus.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Do I want to work out on vacation? … Maybe. Depends on how many green chile cheeseburgers I've inhaled. The quality of the gym is always a crapshoot though, right?
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Sauna, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Woah, hold your horses. This is supposedly an Unbelievable Deal, right? And they're throwing in a spa? Intrigued. I'll believe it when I see it. Still, a nice little feature.
- Things to do, ways to relax: "Ways to relax"? Is it a beanbag chair and a lifetime supply of reruns of Murder She Wrote? We need specifics here.
Cleanliness and Safety (Because Nobody Wants to Live in a Petri Dish):
- Cleanliness and safety, Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment, Safe dining setup: Okay, this list is extensive. Considering the times, that's reassuring. The "room sanitization opt-out" is a nice touch, for those who, like me, might think, “hey, maybe I’ll take a good cleaning myself”.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms: All the essentials for a good night's sleep.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Fuel for Adventure):
- A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: This is a lot of food options. Buffet? Happy hour? Room service? Now we're talking! I need to see the menu. Is there a decent green chile cheeseburger? That's the real test.
The "Fine Print" – Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter):
- Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: A grab bag of goodies, really. Contactless check-in is always a plus, especially if you're, like me, a bit awkward at social interactions. A convenience store could save you from a midnight sugar craving. Outdoor event space? Hmmm…potential for a barbecue?
For the Kids (Because Parents Need Vacations Too):
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good to know if you have ankle biters in tow. Always check for additional fees on these.
Access (Getting In and Out):
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]: Express check-in? Yes, please! I hate waiting in lines. Private check-in might be an option to get an extra special experience.
- Couple's room: Romantic getaway? Excellent.
- Exterior corridor: This is…interesting. Could be noisy, could be charming. Jury's out.
- Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot? I didn't know that proposal was a thing. That's cute.
Available in all rooms
- Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens:
- Air conditioning/soundproofing/blackout curtains: Essential for a good nights rest.
- Coffee/tea maker: YES! Caffeine is a must.
- Bathroom phone: Now that's extra.
- In-room safe box: Always a good thing to have.
- Internet access-wireless/ Wi-Fi [free]: Crucial.
- Refrigerator: Keep my beers cold!
Getting Around (Because You Gotta Leave Eventually):
- Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Free parking is always a winner. Airport transfer is convenient, even if Clovis isn't exactly an international hub. Car charging station? Nice to see them keeping up with the times.
My "Unbelievable Deal" Verdict (And a Little Anecdote):
Okay, so the OYO Hotel Kings in Clovis? Based on this list, it could be a decent stay. The sheer amount of amenities is… impressive, if they all live up to the hype. The cleanliness measures give me some peace of mind which is super important.
The "unbelievable" part? I'm cautiously optimistic. Let's wait and see.
**Here's the Pitch – My "Unbel
Hotel Colbert: Your Dream Saint-Jean-de-Luz Escape Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're not just planning a trip; we're about to live it. And trust me, after staring at that blinking cursor for an hour, I'm ready to tell you all about my (hopefully) glorious adventure to the OYO Hotel Kings at Clovis, New Mexico. Emphasis on the hopefully.
PRE-TRIP CHAOS (or, "Why I'm Already Late to the Party")
Day -3: Panic sets in. I swear I thought I booked a flight. Turns out, I spent an hour comparing rental car prices instead. Facepalm. Seriously. Rent a car? When did I become responsible? My bank account weeps quietly.
Day -2: Packing. Always a disaster. Why do I own so many things? Half my suitcase is dedicated to "maybe" outfits and a book I'll probably never read (pretentious travel persona activated!). Added bonus: discovered a forgotten, half-eaten bag of gummy bears. (Score!). Immediate consumption.
Day -1: The "pre-trip checklist" that never gets finished. Emails to answer. Dog to rehome. Plants to beg my neighbor to water. Suddenly, everything is an emergency. Also, I think I left my passport in the… uh… well, somewhere.
DAY 1: CLOVIS, HERE I COME! (Or More Like, "CLOVIS, I'm Pretty Sure You're There.")
Morning (7:00 AM) Departure-ish: Woke up late. Surprise, surprise. Finally crammed my bag into the rental car (a surprisingly spacious, if slightly dented, sedan). The GPS is already taunting me with estimated arrival times. I'm pretty sure it doesn't know my history with road trips.
Morning (9:00 AM): First fuel stop. Realized I hadn’t checked the oil level. Or the tires. Or anything. Panic! Consulted the overly-enthusiastic cashier at the gas station. Turns out I was fine. Also, she recommended a "must-see" diner a few hours down the road. Promising! I’m already planning my milkshake.
Afternoon (2:00 PM): (Hopefully) Arrived at OYO Hotel Kings at Clovis. After a few wrong turns (thanks, GPS!), and several near-misses with tumbleweeds. Check-in was… efficient. The lobby had that signature "hotel" smell, which is a mix of cleaning product, stale coffee, and faint desperation. But hey, it looked clean! And there was a vending machine. Priorities.
Room Revelation: The room decor is… well, let's call it "functional retro." Think muted beige, suspiciously thin blankets, and a TV that probably pre-dates the internet. But the bed? Actually, pretty comfy! Huge win! Unpacked, and immediately collapsed on the bed. Road trips are exhausting.
Emotional Assessment: A wave of "okay-ness" washes over me. I'm here. I have bed. This is great.
Afternoon (3:00 PM): Decided to check out the hotel's pool. It was not the pristine oasis I had imagined. More like a rectangular puddle, with questionable water clarity, but beggars can't be choosers. I dipped my toes, and decided against an actual swim. Returned to my room. I'm a hotel room person, not a pool person.
- Hotel Drama: Heard some raised voices coming from down the hall. Sounded like a heated debate about… well, I couldn't quite make it out, but it felt… dramatic. Hotel living is fascinating.
Evening (6:00 PM): The diner! The cashier's recommendation – "The Cow Palace Diner" (not its actual name, but something equally charming). OMG. The food was pure, unadulterated comfort. A giant burger, fries to die for, and a milkshake that could cure any ailment. This is what traveling is all about. I may or may not have ordered a second milkshake. Don't judge me.
Evening (9:00 PM): Back at the hotel. Tried to watch TV but channel selection was limited to a news show I didn't care about. Decided to read the book I brought. Fell asleep.
DAY 2: EXPLORATION (Maybe?) & CLOVIS MUSINGS
Morning (8:00 AM): Woke up, feeling slightly hungover… from milkshakes? Ate a complimentary continental breakfast featuring suspiciously stale pastries. The coffee, on the other hand, was surprisingly decent, or maybe I just needed caffeine to survive another day.
Morning (9:30 AM): Decided to actually explore Clovis. Pulled out a map (yes, an actual paper map!) and stared at it blankly. What is there to do in Clovis?
Morning (10:00 AM): Found a local museum about the history of Clovis. It's a bit small, but full of local artifacts. Spent a fun hour looking at old photos and learning about the town's history in agriculture and railroading. Learned a bit about people.
Lunch (12:00 PM): Found a local cafe. Had a surprisingly tasty sandwich and chatted with the locals. They were all incredibly friendly and welcoming. Clovis is growing on me!
Afternoon (2:00 PM): Spent time at the local park, got a bit of sun.
Evening (6:00 PM): Back at the diner. Seriously, I might need an intervention. But the burger! And the fries! And the milkshake! Don't even get me started on the pie!
Evening (9:00 PM): Back to my room. This time I actually started the book.
DAY 3: DEPARTURE AND REFLECTIONS (Or, "Did I Really Just Spend Three Days in Clovis?")
Morning (7:00 AM): Woke up, slightly melancholy about leaving. This wasn't the whirlwind, Instagram-worthy adventure I'd envisioned, but it was… real. I ate my remaining gummy bears.
Departure (8:00 AM): Checked out of the OYO Hotel Kings. The front desk clerk smiled and said, "Come back anytime!" I might actually do that.
On The Road Again (9:00 AM): Hit the road. The GPS taunted me. I ignored it. Made a pit stop for another coffee and one last, lingering look at the town.
Reflections: Clovis, you surprising little town. You're not on the travel radar for a reason, but that's kind of your charm. More importantly, I realized that a good trip isn't about the fancy hotels or the must-see sights. It's about the unexpected diner, the friendly locals, and a moment of quiet on a hotel bed. And maybe, just maybe, a second milkshake.
Future Plans: I'll definitely come back. I also may or may not have researched the availability of other OYO Hotels. The adventure will continue!
This, my friends, is how you travel. (Disclaimer: May not be the most efficient or glamorous approach, but it's honest, and that's enough for me!) Now, where to next…?
Escape to Paradise: YHA Noosa Heads Halse Lodge Awaits!
Alright, spill the beans. What's the *actual* deal with these "Unbelievable Deals"? Sound too good to be true, doesn't it?
Was it the Ritz? Absolutely not. Did it have a lingering smell of... *something*? Maybe. But did it have a bed, a shower (with hot water!), and a roof over my head when I was ready to collapse? YES. And in that moment, the "unbelievable" deal actually felt pretty, well, believable and AMAZING.
So, location, location, location... Clovis, huh? Is there... stuff to *do* there? Be honest.
Let's talk amenities. What can I realistically expect to get for, you know, a *cheap* hotel?
Alright, but what ELSE can realistically go wrong? Be brutally honest. I need the *real* story.
- **The Sheets:** They MAY have been clean. I chose to not dwell on that thought.
- **The Noise:** You WILL hear your neighbors. And traffic. And probably the ghost of Buddy Holly.
- **The Service:** Let's just say, smiles are optional. But the person at the front desk was nice enough.
- **The Vibe:** It's *motel* vibe. Not "boutique hotel" vibe. Embrace the grit, baby. And also, wear shoes in the shower.
So, are you *recommending* this place? Seriously, would you stay there again?
Okay, you mentioned the "unbelievable" price. Give me some numbers. What kind of deal are we really talking about?
Let's get *real*. What if things go south? What if it's *terrible*? Is there a way to get out of it?
Last question: What *one* unsolicited piece of advice would you give someone considering this place?
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