Ohakune's BEST Alpine Escape: Motel & Backpacker Heaven!
Ohakune's BEST Alpine Escape: Motel & Backpacker Heaven! - The Real Deal Review (Rambling Edition)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Ohakune's "BEST Alpine Escape: Motel & Backpacker Heaven!" and let me tell you, it's an experience. Forget those perfectly polished travel brochures, this is the real deal. We're talking honest-to-goodness, slightly-worn-around-the-edges, but utterly charming Ohakune hospitality. Let's dive in, shall we? (And yes, I'll try to cover all the stuff you think you want to know… eventually…)
First Impressions (and a little bit of a rant):
Okay, so the "Heaven" part might be a slight exaggeration. But hey, it's the mountains, right? Everything's relative. Arriving at Ohakune can be… well, let's just say the drive is lovely, until you hit the town itself. Then it's a bit of a chaotic, charming jumble of ski shops, cafes, and… well, motels and backpacker havens. And let me tell you, finding parking can be a battle. Thankfully, Motel & Backpacker Heaven! (from here on out, we'll call it "Heaven" for brevity's sake, even though it's more of a purgatory-with-a-view) has plenty of car parking [free of charge] and even car park [on-site], which, in Ohakune, is practically a miracle. Bonus points for that. Oh, and bicycle parking too, because, you know, the mountain biking scene.
Accessibility - The Important Stuff:
Look, I'm no expert on accessibility, but I did notice they had some solid features. They advertise facilities for disabled guests, which is always a huge plus. The website mentions wheelchair accessibility, but I didn't personally test it. They had an elevator, which is a lifesaver when you're lugging your ski gear. Not sure about the nitty-gritty details of all the rooms, so maybe double-check if you have specific requirements.
Rooms - Your Home Away From… Well, Anywhere:
Okay, let's be honest. The rooms aren't exactly the Ritz. My first thought? "Functional." My second? "Comfortable enough." They've got the basics covered: Air conditioning, Free Wi-Fi, a Coffee/tea maker (essential!), a Refrigerator, and a Safe box (for when you finally win big at the casino - kidding! … mostly). I had a Non-smoking room, which was definitely appreciated. They had Blackout curtains, a lifesaver for those long days of shredding the slopes. The Window that opens was a nice touch; a breath of fresh mountain air. The Linens were clean, the Towels were fluffy enough, and the Shower (with hot water) worked! Small victories, people. Small victories.
The whole Rooms sanitized between stays and Room sanitization opt-out available thing made me feel a bit better about the whole COVID situation. They also provide things like Hand sanitizer and Individually-wrapped food options, so that felt like they were taking safety seriously. Again.
The WiFi Saga:
Now, listen up. The Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! is a lie. Not a total lie, but a fib. It works great… sometimes. Other times, you're staring at your laptop willing the internet to magically appear. The Internet access – wireless is definitely spotty in places. The Internet access – LAN I don't even know if that exists, but hey, they say it's there. The Internet itself is okay. Good enough for some basic work and, you know, stalking your ex on Facebook. But don't expect to stream flawlessly. Okay, maybe you can stream… eventually. The Audio-visual equipment for special events means that someone else might be streaming even longer than you. Just saying.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Fueling the Adventure:
This is where Heaven starts to… well, it's certainly not hell, but it's not exactly fine dining either. The Breakfast [buffet], however, is a solid option. They had the usual suspects: toast, cereal, eggs, and some questionable-looking sausages. Breakfast takeaway service is a boon to my life, especially when I just wanted to get on the slopes faster. They did have a Coffee shop, too, which saved my morning.
For dinner, the Restaurants at Heaven offer an intriguing (and sometimes amusing) experience. Honestly, the A la carte in restaurant options didn’t exactly set my world on fire. The whole Buffet in restaurant was the main thing for dinner, and I'm not going to lie, it started to get a bit repetitive on night three. They have a Bar, which is a great place to meet other travellers. At one point, I was convinced the Poolside bar was a mirage, but it was there! So, if you get thirsty on the Swimming pool [outdoor]… you're in luck!
The Snack bar in the lobby was a lifesaver for those post-ski munchies.
One night I grabbed some Bottle of water on my way to bed. I was so thirsty, I just felt like I could drink an ocean.
The Asian cuisine in restaurant and International cuisine in restaurant was worth trying.
The Relaxation Zone (and My Epic Fail):
Okay, this is where Heaven promised the most, but, for me, it delivered the least. They have all the usual suspects: a Spa, a Sauna, a Steamroom, and even a Swimming pool. Sounds amazing, right? Well, in theory, yes. I went for the Massage. Booked it in advance. Super excited. Thought I'd finally relax after a brutal day on the slopes.
The reality? Well, let's just say the massage therapist had the touch of a bulldozer. Apparently, my muscles were so tight, I could have snapped a ski pole. The Foot bath helped. The Pool with view was pretty nice, even if it was a bit crowded. The Spa/sauna was okay, but I was too sore to stay in there long. I really wanted to try the Body scrub and Body wrap, but I ran out of time (and, let's be honest, steam). Guess what? I think the Gym/fitness was closed while I was there.
Cleanliness and Safety – Because We’re Adults (Mostly):
They seem to take it pretty seriously, which is always good. They provide things like Hand sanitizer. They advertise Anti-viral cleaning products, which is reassuring. You could tell the Staff trained in safety protocol. The Daily disinfection in common areas gave a good feeling. Heaven's got CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property, so you can sleep soundly (or at least try). They had Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms, and Security [24-hour], which also helped.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things:
They’ve got the basics covered: Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, and a Concierge. Cash withdrawal is available, which is handy. I saw a Gift/souvenir shop, but didn’t check it out. The Food delivery I didn't need and the Doctor/nurse on call came in handy for someone else I encountered.
For the Kids (and the Big Kids Too):
I didn't have any kids with me, but they advertise Family/child friendly facilities and Kids facilities, which is great. I even saw some Babysitting service advertisements around the lobby.
Getting Around – Wheels and Wings:
They offer Airport transfer, though I didn't use it. There's a Car park [free of charge] (again, bless them!). They also have a Taxi service and Valet parking, if you're feeling fancy.
The Big Picture: Is Heaven Worth It?
Look, is this place perfect? No. Does it have rough edges? Absolutely. Did I encounter the occasional technical glitch? Yep! But is it a good basecamp for exploring Ohakune and hitting the slopes? Absolutely. The staff are friendly, the location is convenient (if you can find parking), and it's generally a pretty chill place to hang out after a long day of skiing or snowboarding.
My Verdict: This place is a solid choice, with a few quirks. It's got the essentials, and you can't beat the location. Just go in with realistic expectations, and a good sense of humor.
The "Book Now!" Pitch (A tad more professional, but still… you know):
Escape to Ohakune's BEST Alpine Adventure - Book Your Getaway at Motel & Backpacker Heaven!
Tired of the same old routine? Craving fresh mountain air and epic snow-filled days? Then pack your bags and head to Ohakune's Motel & Backpacker Heaven
Escape to Paradise: Maris Hotel Wunstorf - Your German Getaway Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's perfectly-formatted travel itinerary. This is a raw, unfiltered dive into my planned (and probably doomed to slightly deviate) adventure at Alpine Motel & Backpackers in Ohakune, New Zealand. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, dodgy Wi-Fi, and more questionable decisions than a reality TV show.
The Ohakune Odyssey: AKA, "Pray for My Sanity (and My Knees)"
Overall Vibe: Trying to be adventurous. Probably failing. Smelling like damp wool and instant coffee. Feeling a deep, abiding love for mountains and a constant, low-level anxiety about bears (even though, statistically, they're not here).
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Pillow Rebellion
Morning (ish) (because let's be honest, I'm not a morning person): Land in Auckland. Pretend to be a sophisticated traveler (smooth passport control, check). Immediately succumb to the gravitational pull of the duty-free shop (wine, snacks, the works).
Afternoon: Catch the InterCity bus to Ohakune. This is where things get real. The journey is supposed to be glorious, sweeping vistas and all that jazz. Me? I'll be staring at my phone, probably replaying that embarrassing moment from high school.
Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Arrive at Alpine Motel & Backpackers. The website promised "rustic charm". I'm guessing "rustic" is code for "slightly held together with duct tape and hope." Check in, pray for clean sheets. Maybe bribe the cat for extra goodwill.
Evening: Dramatic pause Okay, so the room. Let's just say it's cozy. By cozy, I mean, could fit a decent-sized badger in the remaining space. The bathroom? Reminds me of a public toilet, which doesn't fill you with much confidence considering you've spent 12 hours getting their. Time to conquer the pillows. I'm a pillow princess, and these are… not the fluffy, cloud-like pillows of my dreams. This is where the Great Pillow Rebellion begins. I spend a solid 20 minutes fluffing, rearranging, and generally warring with these inanimate objects. Finally, exhaustion wins. Find a semi-comfortable position. Try to ignore the faint smell of… something. Definitely something.
Dinner: Head into town. Apparently, Ohakune has some "vibrant" spots. I'm aiming for "decent pub grub" and a pint that doesn't taste like dishwater. My emotional state at dinner is mostly anticipation: I've heard the local food is amazing and I'm planning on diving head first into a plate of some sort of meat and chips.
Evening: The pub. I'm starting to feel the alcohol. Someone at the bar just told me I look like a young [insert celebrity]. I'm pretty sure I look like a slightly dishevelled backpacker. The food was good. Maybe I'm happy? I can't quite tell.
Day 2: Tongariro Alpine Crossing – AKA, "Why Did I Sign Up For This?!"
- Early Morning (the horror): Wake up. Regret every single life decision. It's cold. So cold. Drag myself out of bed and into a series of layers that make me resemble a Michelin Man. The promise of an "epic hike" is the only thing keeping me from crawling back under the covers and crying.
- Morning: The Tongariro Alpine Crossing. Okay, this is it. Supposed to be the pièce de résistance of my whole trip. Hike. Hike. Hike. The scenery is… unbelievable. Seriously, breathtaking. But my legs? My lungs? They are screaming at me. I'm pretty sure I saw a hobbit, but maybe it was just oxygen deprivation.
- Mid-Hike Crisis: The Red Crater. Holy mother of… WOW. Red rocks, steaming vents, a view that makes you feel both incredibly small and incredibly alive. I take a photo. Probably a hundred photos. Spend a solid twenty minutes contemplating whether I'm actually capable of this whole "adventure" thing.
- Afternoon: Finally reach the Emerald Lakes. They're the color of… well, emeralds. Gorgeous. But the wind is biting, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to be blown off the mountain. Eat a sad sandwich. Feel a profound sense of accomplishment (and relief).
- Late Afternoon: The final descent. My knees are now officially my biggest enemies. I'm pretty sure I can hear them plotting my demise. Arrive (eventually) at the pickup point. Collapse into the shuttle bus. Sleep. Probably snore.
- Evening: Back at the hostel. Shower that washes away the grime, the sweat, and maybe a bit of my sanity. I'm utterly exhausted but buzzing with a post-hike high. Dinner is a mountain of carbs. Sleep: blissful, uninterrupted (unless the badger comes back to haunt me).
Day 3: Recovery, Relaxation, and Possibly More Bad Decisions
- Morning (still tired): Wake up. Discover muscles I didn't even know I had. Walk (hobble) to the town.
- Morning/Afternoon: Exploring Ohakune. Visit the Giant Carrot. Take photos. Feel a tiny bit ridiculous. Find a cafe with good coffee. Order a giant slice of cake and promise myself I'll only eat half (spoiler: I won't). Wander around the town. Read the local tourist brochures. Consider extreme sports (skiing? snowboarding? Maybe not).
- Afternoon: Rest, read, nap. Maybe try to write in my journal (if I can find my pen). Contemplate my life choices, and New Zealand's stunning natural beauty.
- Evening: The decision. Do I go out again? Or do I nestle in my room and watch a movie? Maybe I'll buy a bottle of wine for myself. This is my life - I can do what I want. I'll spend a couple of hours with my thoughts, alone. A gentle reminder: The "rustic charm" will wear on me. I'm starting to miss the luxuries of home.
Day 4: Departure and Farewell…Maybe?
- Morning: Wake up. Pack. Feel a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving.
- Late Morning: Check out. Say a brief but heartfelt goodbye to Alpine Motel & Backpackers (and the slightly haunted badger), knowing I'll always remember it (mostly for the location and the good times).
- Afternoon: Get back on the bus, and head out again.
Post-Trip Debrief (aka, "The Days After")
- Overall Reflection: New Zealand is incredible. My body is broken. My bank account is lighter. My soul? A little fuller.
- Lessons Learned: Always pack more socks. Invest in good hiking boots. And maybe, just maybe, start exercising before you attempt an "epic" hike.
- Would I Go Back? Absolutely. But next time, I'm booking a room with a working shower and maybe, just maybe, a slightly fluffier pillow. And I'm definitely hitting that duty-free shop again. Cheers to adventures!
Ohakune's BEST Alpine Escape: Motel & Backpacker Heaven! (Yeah, Right...) - FAQs - A Real-Talk Session
Okay, so "BEST Alpine Escape"... is that, like, *actually* true? And what *is* it, exactly?
Alright, alright, let's tackle the elephant in the room – the "best" part. Look, the marketing folks probably wrote that. It's a motel and backpacker setup, right in Ohakune. Think a mish-mash of motels with varying degrees of "charm" (read: some are ancient, some are relatively… functional). And then there's the backpacker side, which… well, let's just say it's where you go to meet some *characters*. It's an escape alright, from… well, reality, perhaps? Depends on your definition of a good time.
Honestly, *best*? Debatable. *Convenient*? Absolutely. It's right in town, walkable to everything (or at least, everything in tiny Ohakune). And it's a decent basecamp for hitting the mountain.
What's the vibe like? Is it... nice? Or am I gonna be dodging questionable smells and dodgy dudes?
"Nice" is a relative term, yeah? Expect a spectrum. The motel side's vibe fluctuates wildly depending on which specific motel you end up in. Some are clean and tidy, with a hint of that slightly-dated-but-lovable feeling. Others… well, let's say you might want to pack your own Lysol.
The backpacker side? Ah, now that’s where the *characters* come in. Picture: A slightly-sunburnt, perpetually-hungry Brit named Nigel wearing sandals and socks, regaling everyone with tales of a near-death experience scaling a Welsh mountain... while simultaneously trying to cook beans on a communal BBQ that looks like it hasn't been cleaned since the eighties. You will, without a doubt, encounter *that* person. And they’ll be charming, in their own way… or maybe just persistent. Dodgy dudes? Potentially; as with any backpacker hostel, keep your valuables safe. But in the overwhelming majority, it's friendly, with a healthy dose of chaos.
I'm travelling solo. Will I be utterly alone, or is it easy to meet people?
Ohakune, especially in the snow season, is teeming with other solo travellers. You will *absolutely* meet people. I met this awesome Aussie chick in my hostel (I won't reveal which establishment) who was genuinely hilarious and we spent a whole afternoon trying to navigate the local supermarket (which, admittedly, is a bit of a mission!), We ended up friends and stayed in touch. The shared kitchen, the bar at the Powderkeg, or just the common areas around the motel complex – they're all breeding grounds for spontaneous friendships.
There's *something* about trudging back from a day on the slopes, freezing and exhausted, that makes you bond with perfect strangers over a lukewarm beer and a shared plate of whatever cheap food you can find. It's honestly great.
The rooms - what's the deal with them? Are they all the same?
Absolutely NOT all the same. This is a key point. Think of the motel side as a collection of independently-run, often older establishments. Some might have been updated recently; others, well, let's say they have "character." Check photos *very* carefully online before booking. Read the reviews. Really *read* them. Pay attention to specifics. There might be hints of previous tenants that lived a little too hard in the place.
The backpacker rooms? You're looking at dorms (usually mixed, unless you specifically request otherwise), and the facilities are shared. Expect bunk beds, a communal bathroom that sees a *lot* of action, and potentially the sound of someone snoring like a chainsaw. Bring earplugs. Trust me on this.
What's the best thing about staying there?
The location, hands down. Seriously. Ohakune is *right there* for Ruapehu. You can roll out of bed, grab some breakfast (hopefully decent!), and be on the mountain in a short while. That, and the sheer *vibe*. It's a place where you can be yourself, ditch the pretension, and just *be*. Plus, after a day of skiing, the local bars are buzzing with people sharing stories, laughing, and generally being merry. It's… infectious. I think I even met my now wife in one of those bars!
Okay, *and* the Powderkeg is just down the road. That can't be ignored.
What's the worst thing about staying there?
The inconsistent quality. *That's* the big one. Some places *are* genuinely run-down. Another is the price. It can get expensive, especially during peak season. And sometimes, you just want a decent internet connection, which... isn't always guaranteed.
But honestly? The *worst* part is probably the sheer *volume* of people trying to experience Ohakune at the same time. Parking can be a nightmare, and if you forget to book your ski gear in advance, you're potentially looking at slim pickings, or overpaying, or a trek across town. Be prepared, or you'll be suffering the disappointment of having to go to the slopes without the right gear, or possibly not at all.
Is it good for families?
Depends. Some of the motels are definitely family-friendly, offering family rooms and other amenities. But, the backpacker side? Probably not ideal unless your kids are already teenagers with a high tolerance for noise and questionable smells. And are alright with seeing some pretty interesting types.
Ohakune itself is great for families. There's even some kid-friendly activities. But the accommodation within the 'Alpine Escape' complex? Choose wisely. Read the reviews carefully. And probably book the motel side.
Okay, I'm convinced. How do I book?
Go to the website! Or call them. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, show up. But, especially during peak season, *book in advance*. Especially the places you want to stay in. Don't just rock up and expect a room. You might end up sleeping in a car. And trust me, that'Roam And Rests
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