
Heathman Hotel Kirkland: WA's Most Luxurious Escape? (You Decide!)
Heathman Hotel Kirkland: Is it Really Kirkland's King (or Queen) of Luxury? Buckle Up, Buttercup! (A Very Opinionated Review)
Okay, so the Heathman Hotel Kirkland. They're putting themselves out there, claiming the crown of "most luxurious." Bold move, Cotton. So, I checked it out. I judged. I lounged. And, well, I've got opinions. Get ready for a (slightly disorganized) deep dive, with all the messy, imperfect, and purely human bits thrown in for good measure. This is NOT your boring, sterile travel blog post. This is me, dissecting the Heathman, warts and all.
(Important Note: This review is based on my own experience and may not reflect everyone's. Your mileage, as they say, will vary. Also, I'm a sucker for a good pun.)
Accessibility: C+ (Could be better, but they're trying!)
Alright, let's get the "accessibility" stuff out of the way first. This isn't my strong suit, as I don't personally have any mobility issues, but I noticed some things. The elevator access is definitely there, hurray! They do have facilities for disabled guests, and the website promises accessible rooms. Good start. However, I couldn't personally assess the nuances. A little more detail on their website about specific features (like the width of doorways, the presence of grab bars, etc.) would be super helpful. Plus, let's be honest, "trying" isn't enough in 2024.
Wheelchair Accessible: (See above – Needs more specifics!)
Internet: The Digital Age Blues (Mostly Good!)
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: YES. Bless you, Heathman. I need my Instagram fix, even when luxuriating. Connectivity is key people!
- Internet Access – Wireless: Yep, everywhere. Easy peasy.
- Internet Access – LAN: I’m not sure anyone even uses LAN cables anymore, but, hey, they have it. For the retro-techies among us! (Like, my uncle, who thinks dial-up is a "modern marvel").
- Internet Services: Didn't really delve into this too deeply, but the speed was acceptable.
- Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Works. Convenient. (But don't expect miracles, it's not NASA-grade.)
- Internet: Overall, the connectivity was decent. Nothing to write home about, but reliable enough to fuel my endless doom-scrolling.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure (and Sanitized!)
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Excellent. Gotta love a hotel that takes these things seriously.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Reassuring. Especially after seeing, you know, stuff in the Seattle airport…(shudders).
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. I’m practically addicted to the stuff now.
- Hygiene certification: Good to know. Makes you feel less like you're sleeping in a Petri dish.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Smart move and a bonus.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They seem to try. (People still get close, though. It's the human condition.)
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Sounds thorough. Gotta love a professional.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Fine by me!
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Standard, but important.
- Safe dining setup: See note below about dining experiences.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Again, good for peace of mind.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They seemed to be.
- Sterilizing equipment: Nice!
Let's talk about the most visceral element: my experience with the Heathman's Spa!
Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Pool with View, Swimming Pool [outdoor], Massage, Body Scrub, Body Wrap, Foot Bath - OH MY!
Spa Time! (The Redemption Arc)
Okay, let's get real. The spa… that’s where things truly went, from okay to AMAZING! The spa experience was so good that they may very well have earned my business for life.
The spa itself is gorgeous. Peaceful. Serene. I went with my BFF, let's call her "Brenda." (Because, why not?) I swear, the moment we stepped inside, a wave of calm washed over me. The decor is sleek, modern, yet still manages to feel warm and inviting. Think a minimalist meets chic, with a dash of zen.
The Treatment
Brenda and I did the couples massage, which was fantastic. The therapists were incredibly skilled, asking all the right questions about pressure, problem areas, and such. The massage itself was… chef’s kiss. I'm talking, "melted into a puddle of blissful goo" kind of good. I’m a sucker for a good back rub, and this…this was an experience. And after the massage, we hit up the sauna and steam room.
The Pool with View!
And, this is where the real magic happens. The outdoor pool, with its stunning view of Lake Washington, is simply breathtaking. I spent an hour just floating, gazing at the water, and feeling all my worries melt away. It was the kind of moment you want to bottle up and save for a rainy day.
The Minor Glitches
Honestly, the only slight hiccup was the fact that my robe felt slightly scratchy. (Again, I’m a professional critic and need to call out all the imperfections!) This is me being picky. So, not perfect but it was truly heavenly.
The Verdict
The spa experience here is a game-changer. Forget the rest, this is the main reason to book the Heathman. The treatment, the facilities, the service… it's all top-notch.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Hit or Miss.
- Restaurants, Bar, Coffee shop, Poolside bar: They have 'em.
- A la carte in restaurant: The menu was tempting, I spent a pretty penny there, but I’m not always a fan.
- Alternative meal arrangement: Good, but if you have a dietary need, ask ahead!
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Meh.
- Breakfast [buffet] / Breakfast service: Now, this is where things got…interesting. The breakfast buffet was fairly standard. Nothing mind-blowing, but perfectly adequate.
- Buffet in restaurant: See above.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant / Coffee shop: Yeah, you'll get a cup of coffee.
- Desserts in restaurant: Looked good! I couldn't resist a bite of Brenda's, and it was delightful.
- Happy hour: Always a good idea.
- International cuisine in restaurant / Western cuisine in restaurant: Decent.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yep. Good for those late-night cravings (or, let's be honest, the lazy afternoon when you can't be bothered to get dressed.)
- Salad in restaurant / Soup in restaurant: Fine
- Snack bar: Convenient.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Not specifically, but there are options.
The Dining Experience (In Brief):
Okay, the food wasn’t the highlight. It was fine, but it didn't wow me. A specific entree at the restaurant was bland and underwhelming. The service was a little slow at times, too. It's not bad, but it's not what I expect from a "luxury" hotel. The poolside bar, though, gets bonus points for convenience, and the cocktails were pretty decent.
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Suspects (Mostly Good).
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Concierge, Convenience store, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Meeting/banquet facilities, Outdoor venue for special events, Safety deposit boxes, Taxi service, Terrace, Valet parking: All present and accounted for. No complaints here. They've got you covered.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: No complaints.
- Invoice provided: Yup.
- Ironing service, Laundry service: Handy.
- Luggage storage: Also handy.
- Smoking area: They have it.
- Xerox/fax in business center: Old-school!
For the Kids: (I Don't Have Kids, But…)
- Family/child friendly, Babysitting service, Kids facilities, Kids meal: They seem to be catering to families, which is nice.
Rooms, Rooms, Rooms! (Where the Magic Happens – Mostly)
- **Additional toilet,

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's sanitized itinerary. We’re talkin’ real life at The Heathman in Kirkland, Washington, and trust me, it won't be all fluffy towels and perfectly-fluffed pillows. I'm aiming for messy, honest, and probably a sprinkle of “WTF did I just do?”
The Heathman Kirkland: My Soul’s Playground (and Occasional Battlefield)
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Room Staring Contest
- 1:00 PM: Land at SeaTac. Smooth, right? Wrong. Delayed flight, of course. My carry-on always looks suspiciously like I'm planning a permanent move. I’m lugging a week's worth of clothes, a book I'll never finish, and enough emergency snacks to feed a small army. (Because, you know, emergencies.) Taxi to Kirkland. Praying the driver doesn't judge my travel snacks.
- 2:30 PM: Finally, The Heathman. Oh, the glory. It's like a perfectly-curated Instagram filter IRL. Lobby's gorgeous. Staff is as polished as the silverware. Check-in is painless (thank god, I'm already hangry). Get the key to my room and think: "Is this real life?" Probably not.
- 3:00 PM: My Room (hopefully with a view!). Okay, the room is amazing. Huge, fireplace, the works. I’m immediately contemplating ordering room service and never leaving. The view is stunning – Lake Washington, shimmering back at me. This is when the "I deserve this" mantra kicks in. I then proceed to unpack… which leads to the great bag-unloading ritual. You know, the one where you unpack it all, and then immediately repack it. Because organization.
- 4:00 PM: Exploration Time! But first! Find the coffee machine – a lifesaver. Now, time for the hotel exploration. So many hallways and elevators… I end up slightly lost on the third floor (who designed this labyrinth?!). Finally find the gym. Maybe I'll actually use it. Narrator voice: She will not.
- 5:00 PM: The Great Room - A Culinary Orgy (with a side of minor panic) I hit the hotel's main restaurant (duh). The Great Room. The ambiance is… well, it’s “sophisticated” (aka, I feel underdressed in my travel-weary jeans). It’s beautiful! The menu is all fancy words I don't understand. I order the scallops, feeling like I'm channeling my inner bougie. The scallops arrive. They’re divine. Then, I glance at the bill. My wallet whimpers. But hey, vacation, right? Right?
- 7:00 PM: Back in the room. Journaling, sipping (overpriced) water, and staring at the lake. I'm tired. The initial excitement of jet lag has faded. Maybe tomorrow I'll explore more. Or maybe I'll just order room service again. Decisions, decisions…
Day 2: Lake, Lattes & Laughing My Ass Off
- 8:00 AM: Attempt at breakfast in bed. The tray is too small. The coffee spills. I feel like a clumsy cartoon character. But, the view is still gorgeous.
- 9:30 AM: Walk along the waterfront (finally, some exercise!). The fresh air is amazing. I run into someone and end up awkwardly apologizing. Life goal: Not be awkward.
- 10:30 AM: Coffee run! Starbucks is just down the street. I'm not usually a Starbucks kinda person, but I feel that it must be done. I order a complicated drink. The barista looks at me like I'm speaking another language. I totally feel like a tourist.
- 11:30 AM: Back to the Heathman. This time for a spa appointment. HOLY MOLY. This is it. The Bliss. The deep tissue massage is both intense and deeply relaxing. I may have snored. Don’t judge. It was… needed. The masseuse is a saint.
- 1:00 PM: The Great Room. Lunch. This time, I'm smarter. I order something simple… and delicious (because it wouldn’t be The Great Room without amazing!).
- 2:30 PM: The Bookstore. I wander into a bookstore, and get lost in the stacks. I find an old copy of my fave book. I have to buy it!
- 4:00 PM: Lake Time! Okay, I'm getting braver. I rent a kayak. I will conquer this lake. The kayaking is… interesting. I nearly flip the damn thing. I see a duck that kinda judges me. I think I'll stick to the hotel pool tomorrow.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant. This is a recommendation from the hotel concierge. I get a little lost trying to find it, and end up wandering into a weird little art gallery.
- 7:30 PM: Oh, the restaurant! I'm not sure what I expected, but it's amazing. This is one of those 'I'll remember this forever' kinda meals. The waiter is cute, the food is perfect, and I'm starting to feel… blissed out?
- 9:30 PM: Back at The Heathman. Wine chilling. Bath running. I am thriving.
Day 3: Art, Ambivalence, and the Airport Shuffle
- 9:00 AM: Sleep in! Finally. (I'm never a sleep-in person). Room service breakfast… again. This time, I tip better (lesson learned from Day 1).
- 10:00 AM: Last-minute souvenir shopping in downtown Kirkland. I buy a hideous, but charming, piece of local art. (Support local artists, people!)
- 11:00 AM: Check out. OMG, I don't want to leave. Why does it feel like these vacations always go too fast?!
- 11:30 AM: Goodbye to the amazing Hotel! I make a mental note to come back and do it all again.
- 12:30 PM: The airport. The airport. Oh, the airport. Flight's delayed (of course). I find a weird little cafe, order a god-awful coffee (my fault, I know better), and people-watch. This is one of my favorite things to do.
- 3:00 PM: Flight! I'm on my way home, slightly sunburned, mentally exhausted, but my soul is happy. I'm already planning my next trip. Seriously.
The Verdict?
The Heathman Kirkland? Worth it. The Great Room? Expensive, but a must-do. The kayaking? Maybe skip it. My sanity? Mostly intact. My bank account? Slightly depleted. Am I a changed person? Probably not. But did I have a damn good time? Absolutely.
Unbelievable Sierra Nevada Views: Your Dream Sabica Apartment Awaits!
Is The Heathman Kirkland *really* the most luxurious escape in Kirkland? Seriously?
What's the deal with the food? Is it worth the hype, especially the restaurant?
The Spa! Is it heavenly or just... expensive pampering?
Is the location good? Is it easy to get to and get around?
Tell me about this "quirky" experience you had there...
Any tips for making the most of a stay at the Heathman?


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