Escape to Paradise: Unforgettable Sierra Nevada Hotel in El Calafate
Escape to Paradise: Or, My Love-Hate Affair with the Sierra Nevada Hotel in El Calafate (Mostly Love, TBH)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to get REAL about the Sierra Nevada Hotel in El Calafate. Forget those sanitized, corporate-speak reviews – this is the raw, unfiltered truth, with all my quirks and questionable life choices included. This is going to be less a review and more a therapy session… about a hotel!
First Impressions: Majestic But a Bit… Cold?
Let's be honest, El Calafate is breathtaking. And the Sierra Nevada Hotel? Well, it attempts to hold its own against the majestic backdrop of Patagonia. The location is decent, a hop, skip, and a penguin waddle from the main drag. (Okay, maybe not a penguin waddle, but you get the idea). The building itself is impressive, all sleek lines and floor-to-ceiling windows promising panoramic views. Check-in? Pleasant enough. They even had a contactless option, which, as someone who washes their hands obsessively, I appreciated. But…it felt a little sterile. Like, a very expensive hospital. Where's the character, the warmth? I was hoping for a roaring fire in the lobby, maybe a stray sheepdog…but alas, nothing.
Accessibility: The Good, the Not-So-Good, and the "I'm Trying!"
Okay, accessibility is a BIG deal for me. I'm not a wheelchair user, but I'm always looking out for my friends and for when I inevitably become a grumpy, creaky senior citizen. (It's coming. I feel it in my bones.) The hotel boasts "Facilities for disabled guests" which, thankfully, are true. The elevators are spacious, and the common areas are generally easy to navigate. This is a huge plus. However, the devil's in the details, isn't it? While the lobby and restaurants seemed decent, I didn't see a lot of specific signage. It's a "trying" hotel in that regard, but needs to learn to double down its effort.
On-site Grub: My Stomach's Odyssey
Let's talk food. Because, you know, calories are the fuel of life (and potentially, future therapy sessions).
- **Restaurants & Bars, Oh My!: ** The hotel has several restaurants, which is a godsend when you're jet-lagged and haven't seen a supermarket in a week. The main restaurant offers A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant. (Wow, a lot of options!) I dove headfirst into the buffet on the first night, a mistake I will never repeat. The buffet was… chaotic. Plates colliding, kids running amok (no judgment, I've been there, probably still am!), and food that was almost good. The salad in restaurant was a savior, though. The produce in Argentina is just leagues better than what I get back home. The coffee/tea in restaurant? Standard hotel fare. Drinkable, but nothing to write home about. The poolside bar offered a slightly better experience – cocktails with a view helped numb the buffet trauma.
- Room Service: My Savior: Thank god for Room service [24-hour]. After my buffet debacle, I was clinging to my room like a lifeline. Breakfast was a decent breakfast [buffet]; I'm not always a fan of the huge buffet for breakfast, but it did the trick (or Breakfast takeaway service). The coffee/tea maker in the room was a lifesaver.
Spa & Relaxation: Where My Inner Peace (Temporarily) Resides
Okay, this is where the Sierra Nevada Hotel redeemed itself. The Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Sauna, Pool with view, Swimming pool. I mean, come on! The whole point of being in Patagonia is to detox from your daily routine and just be. The treatment menu was extensive, with options for everything from a simple massage to a full-body overhaul. I opted for the Body scrub and followed that with a Massage, and I swear, I floated out of there. Seriously. They even had bathrobes and slippers for the ultimate pampering experience. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was cold at first (it's Patagonia, duh!), but the view made up for it. The fitness center was pretty standard, but I preferred chilling in my room sipping coffee and avoiding exercise.
Rooms: My Temporary Fortress
My room was, as they say, "equipped with everything." Air conditioning, blackout curtains, coffee/tea maker, hair dryer, in-room safe box, refrigerator, satellite/cable channels, separate shower/bathtub, slippers, smoke detector, soundproofing… the works. The Free Wi-Fi was a godsend, though I occasionally experienced some hiccups (Internet access - wireless, Internet access - LAN, in case you were struggling with the connection). The seating area was comfy, with the most comfortable pillows in the world. The views, of course, were the real showstopper. At night, I'd cuddle up in bed with my complimentary tea, and watch the sunset. Pure bliss.
Cleanliness and Safety: Anxiety Soothed (Mostly)
So, the pandemic – still a thing, right? The hotel took safety seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Staff trained in safety protocol. I didn't witness anything that made me squeamish. (And believe me, I was looking.) They have Hand sanitizer everywhere, and I felt safe enough. You could even arrange to opt-out of Room sanitization opt-out available, which is a nice touch. They also have Safe dining setup.
What to Do (Besides Eat and Spa): The Active Tourist's Guide
El Calafate is a treasure trove of outdoor adventures!
- Things to do: This hotel lets you book the tours for you, or you can do it on your own! It is a good strategic point!
- For The Kids: The hotel is also Family/child friendly, and offers a Babysitting service.
- Getting Around: The hotel offer you Airport transfer, Taxi service, Car park [free of charge].
The Verdict: Worth It? Mostly!
Look, the Sierra Nevada Hotel isn't perfect. It has its quirks. It can be a little impersonal. But it's also a comfortable, well-appointed base from which to explore an incredible place. The spa alone is worth the price of admission (for me, anyway!). The staff were helpful and polite. In short, I'd recommend it, with a few caveats. (Bring earplugs, maybe avoid the buffet, and definitely book a massage.) But overall? I'd gladly escape to paradise again. And maybe this time, I'll try to be a little less cranky. Maybe. Probably not.
Cairns' Most Luxurious Suites: Mid-City Paradise Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups and grab your imaginary Andes-ready wool sweaters, because we're about to dive headfirst into my utterly chaotic, probably-a-little-bit-disastrous, and hopefully hilarious itinerary for Hotel Sierra Nevada in El Calafate, Argentina. Prepare for a trip that's less "smooth and streamlined" and more "me trying to herd cats while simultaneously battling altitude sickness and a crippling fear of condors."
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Fleece Jacket Fiasco (aka "I Packed Like a Lunatic")
- Morning (ish) - Fly into El Calafate (EZE) – Airing of Excitement: Honestly, the anticipation was KILLING me. Months of planning, endless YouTube videos (mostly about penguins, let's be real) and here I am. The flight was thankfully uneventful, and the sheer immensity of the Patagonian landscape as we descended gave me actual goosebumps. Seriously, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so much… nothing. And it was breathtaking.
- Afternoon: Hotel Check-In – The Great Fleece Jacket Fiasco: My luggage miraculously arrived intact. Victory! Until I remembered… I packed too much. Like, a mountain range worth of clothes. And I’m already regretting my decision to bring that ridiculous, oversized fleece jacket. I mean, it’s a glorious shade of electric blue, but it's also the size of a small, fluffy Argentine llama. I’m already sweating from the exertion of hauling it into the hotel room. Note to self: Pack lighter next time. (Fat chance.) The Hotel Sierra Nevada itself is cute and cozy. Fireplace going, the smell of pine needles, the whole "rustic chic" vibe. I get a little giddy, probably should have chilled out.
- Late Afternoon: Exploration (ish) of El Calafate: Wandered into town. Took some terrible pictures of literally everything. The sun was doing a magical, golden-hour thing, and I felt compelled to capture every single dusty street corner and slightly-askew building. My photography skills remain questionable at best. Maybe I’ll stick to the vistas. And the local ice cream shops. That's the answer, right? I’m already dreaming of dulce de leche.
- Evening: Dinner at a Local Parilla. (Meat, Glorious Meat!) – Went to a Parilla and ordered a ridiculous amount of beef. I’m not kidding, I think I could have fed a small village. The empanadas were sublime. Almost forgot I’d spent the day alone.
Day 2: Perito Moreno Glacier – A Frozen Spectacle (and My Near-Demise)
- Morning: Perito Moreno – The Awkward Romance with Glaciers: The bus ride to Perito Moreno was stunning. The scenery is mind-blowing, a sea of turquoise lakes and mountains. And of course, the glacier itself. I get out and I'm just…. Speechless. Honestly speechless. I'm trying to describe it, but the words just… fail. It's so colossal, so impossibly blue, so… alive. I spent a shameful amount of time just staring. It’s like you can see the history of the earth in the ice. It’s a truly life-changing moment, and I’m thinking, that’s it. That’s the moment. And then…
- Afternoon: "The Great Ice Crack" (and my terrified yelp): Suddenly, there’s a colossal crack, a rumble, and a chunk of ice the size of a small apartment building just… collapses into the lake. I swear, I nearly jumped out of my skin. My heart rate went from "mildly elevated from excitement" to "holy-mother-of-god-I'm-going-to-die-on-ice" in about two seconds. I even screamed. A ridiculously un-dignified yelp. In retrospect, it was amazing to witness, but in that moment, I was pretty sure I was about to become a glacier-based casualty report.
- Afternoon Continued: Post-Traumatic Empanada Consumption: After surviving the ice-ocalypse, I needed comfort. Immediately. I scuttled back to the little cafeteria and devoured an empanada (or three) and some hot chocolate. My nerves finally calmed down enough to appreciate the beauty of the glacier again. (Side note: I might need to bring a new pair of trousers because I think my current ones are ruined.
- Late Afternoon: Glacier Hike (If I get my courage back): This is optional as they offer ice trekking, but honestly, after the great, ice-crack experience, I'm feeling a bit like I need a good therapist and some serious anxiety meds. Maybe I'll just admire the glacier from afar. Safe distance is okay.
- Evening: Sleep: I’m exhausted.
Day 3: The Penguins of Puerto Bandera – A Fluffy Parade (Maybe I won't die)
- Morning: Cruise to the Penguins – The “Boat Life”: The cruise to see the penguins! Now that’s something I’ve been waiting for. I hope it’s warmer, cause I’m a bit cold today. The cruise was on a big ship, and the water was a bit choppy. I’m told there’s a good likelihood of seeing whales. We’ll see, fingers crossed.
- Midday: Penguin Island – The Miracle of Cute: Okay, I will admit it: penguins are the cutest things on this planet. I mean, they wobble! They squawk! They waddle with such determination! I spent the whole afternoon taking photos of penguins, their tiny little families, and their adorable little homes. Best. Day. Ever.
- Afternoon: Penguin Parade (aka the slow waddle to penguin nirvana): This is it. The grand finale! The penguins, in all their glory! I may never see a happier sight. I can’t. I won’t. I'm pretty sure this is the greatest day of my life.
- Evening: Farewell Dinner (and a tequila shot): Final meal in El Calafate. We will gather and reminisce all the fun times here. I can still remember the ice-crack! I feel like I came away from here with a new understanding of life and the beauty of adventure. I even downed a tequila shot to toast the trip.
Day 4: Departure – Saying Goodbye (and Maybe Crying. A Little.)
- Morning: Last Glimpse – And then, it's time to go home: I sneak in one last breakfast at the hotel, savoring the smell of coffee and the memory of the incredible view from my window. Okay, maybe I did cry a little as I said goodbye.
- Afternoon: Departure – Adios Argentina! The flight out. Waving goodbye to the majestic Andes. Already planning my return. (Because I will be back. Oh yes, I will be back.)
- Evening : Post-Trip Reflection: I’m already feeling the post-trip blues, but also an overwhelming sense of joy and awe. The great fleece jacket, my terrible pictures, the fact I'm still terrified of condors. And the penguins. All worth it. Absolutely worth it.
So there you have it. My El Calafate adventure, in all its messy, imperfect glory. Now go forth and explore, and don't forget to bring a good camera, a sense of humor, and a healthy appreciation for both dulce de leche and the fact that, yes, you might actually witness a glacier break. And if you see a giant blue fleece jacket, please, for the love of all that is holy, tell it I said hello.
Escape to Paradise: Alamii Kaoem Guesthouse, Puncak, Indonesia
So, is this "Escape to Paradise" actually paradise? Or just, you know, a nice hotel?
Alright, let's be honest. "Paradise"? That's a loaded word. And after being there... well, sometimes. Other times, it was just really, REALLY nice. It’s like, imagine waking up with your face into a literal snow in your bed, and that's not even mentioning the bloody freezing wind. But then, you’re staring at those Sierra Nevada views... seriously, the mountains are breathtaking. Picture this: I was nursing a serious hangover, the kind that makes you question all your life choices, then BAM! Those mountains hit me, and I almost forgot I wanted to die. Almost. So, paradise? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the day, your tolerance for Patagonian weather, and how many Fernet Brancas you slammed the night before.
Let's talk location. How far is it from, say, the *other* attractions in El Calafate? Like, the glacier?
Okay, location is key. Look, it's *not* right in the middle of downtown. You're a bit out, which is what I *kind of* wanted. It's got this whole "secluded retreat" vibe, and in a way, that's cool.. It makes you feel like you *are* escaping! Also, it's not a super long drive to the Perito Moreno Glacier which is the most important attraction in El Calafate. We were a bit worried about the shuttles, but they ended up working out fine. I mean, who needs to be *right* in the hustle and bustle when you have those views, honestly? The shuttle was on time and everything, which is surprisingly reliable for the region! That's my two cents, for sure.
The rooms. Spill the tea. Are they as luxurious as they look in the photos? (Asking for a friend... who is me.)
Okay, rooms. Photos. Always a gamble, right? I'm not gonna lie, the *actual* room was pretty damn great. Like, the bed? *Heaven*. Honestly, I could have just stayed in that bed for a week straight, ordering room service (which was also pretty good, I’ll get to that). The decor was all cozy and rustic-chic, you know, the kind that makes you feel like you're in a fancy ski lodge (even if you're not skiing... I’m a sun worshiper, not a snow bunny!). My only gripe? The bathroom could get a bit… chilly. Seriously, that Patagonian wind found its way *everywhere*. Pack extra layers for midnight toilet runs, just saying. But the view from the window? Worth it. Completely.
Food! Food! Food! What's the deal with the dining situation there? Is it all fancy Michelin-star stuff?
Okay, the food. This is where things get interesting. They had lovely food and a gorgeous restaurant! The breakfast buffet was good, with a delightful selection of pastries and different types of cheeses. But for the lunches and dinners... it was a bit hit-or-miss, to be real. One night, I had the best lamb I’ve ever eaten in my LIFE. Seriously, melt-in-your-mouth, flavorful, pure joy. The next night? Let's just say I opted for a simple pasta dish. *Don't* get me wrong, it wasn't *bad*. Just... not mind-blowing. But hey, I went there more to see the beautiful sights and the company I was with, so it wasn't all that bad. One particular memory I have, is when I almost choked at a piece of bread. That may have not been their fault though. Overall, the food was decent. I’d give it a solid B. The wine selection, however… A+!
Activities! What is there to *do* at this "Escape to Paradise"? Besides, you know, staring at mountains and eating lamb.
Okay, activities. This is where things got a little… limited. Now, don’t get me wrong, what they *did* have was nice. They had a pool (though it was a little cold, for my liking – again, Patagonian weather, am I right?), a decent spa, and offered some tours. I tried one of the tours and it was boring as hell. But I did see a waterfall, at least. I wanted to go hiking, but my legs weren't cooperating. Then, there was the spa, which was... okay. Honestly, I spent most of my time just reading books, staring out the window, and trying to figure out how to get the perfect Instagram shot of the mountains. (Spoiler alert: I failed, repeatedly.) So, if you're looking for a place to *do* things, maybe this isn't the place. If you’re looking for a place to *chill*, then you’re golden.
Okay, real talk. What was the *worst* thing about this "Escape to Paradise"?
Alright, here's the truth, the raw truth: the Wi-Fi. Dear GOD, the Wi-Fi. It was… patchy. Let’s just say, I used it enough to make me angry, and that wasn't enough. Imagine wanting to upload an amazing photo of a glacier to Instagram, only to have the signal die on you. Or worse, trying to actually WORK. It was *painful*. I think I spent half my time just pacing around the room, trying to find a sweet spot where I could actually load a webpage. It was so bad, I considered going back to the dark ages, writing letters instead. Honestly, if you're a digital nomad, or even just someone who needs to check their email, brace yourself. Or, you know, just embrace the digital detox. I mean, maybe that’s part of the "escape" thing. But still… *fix the Wi-Fi, guys!*
Would you go back? And, more importantly, should *I* go?
Would *I* go back? Hmm... That's a tough one! I probably would, if I was looking for a place to just disappear for a few days and forget everything. But next time I'm going with the best Wi-Fi stick I can find, and I’m bringing like, five of them. The hotel, flaws and all, has a certain charm. I’d recommend it, yeah. If (and that’s a big IF) you’re looking for a place to truly *escape*, to disconnect, to maybe rediscover your inner peace (or at least, get away from your annoying in-laws), then yeah, give it a shot. Just… bring your own Wi-Fi router. And a really good book. And maybe a flask of something strong. You'll thank me later.
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