Kiwara Guesthouse: Johannesburg's BEST-KEPT Secret? (Luxury Awaits!)
Kiwara Guesthouse: Johannesburg, a Secret Worth Whispering (and Maybe Screaming About!) - A Review from a Real Person (and a Real Mess!)
Okay, buckle up, because I'm about to spill the tea (or maybe a whole pot of Earl Grey, because Kiwara knows how to do breakfast!) on Kiwara Guesthouse. Is it Johannesburg's best-kept secret? Well, after my stay? Absolutely. But hold on… Let me just… deep breath … gather my thoughts. Because, honestly, I’m still reeling a bit. And in the best way possible.
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- Meta Description: Discover Kiwara Guesthouse, a Johannesburg gem! This luxury escape offers stunning views, spa treatments, accessible features, and impeccable service. Read my chaotic, honest review and see if it’s the perfect getaway for YOU.
The Arrival: First Impressions and a Wheelchair (Spoiler Alert: It's Accessible!)
First things first: Accessibility. Guys, this is critical for me. My mobility is… well, let's just say I appreciate a properly designed ramp and a spacious room. Kiwara? Nailed it. The entire property is wheelchair accessible, and I'm not just talking about a token ramp here and there. Wide hallways, easy-to-maneuver elevators (yes, elevators!), and thoughtfully designed rooms. Truly impressed. The elevator was a godsend – especially after that airport shuffle! – and made navigating the entire guesthouse a breeze. They even had an accessible room specifically designed for comfort and usability, which was a huge relief.
Now, the real first impression… walking in, I swear my jaw dropped. Doorman was ready to help with all my bags. Talk about service! They even had a valet parking service so I didn't have to worry about my wheels. The Front desk [24-hour] staff were genuinely welcoming, not just going through the motions. A genuine smile means everything. They offered contactless check-in/out which was great for peace of mind, and I loved the little touches like the complimentary tea and the lovely, calming scent wafting through the air.
Getting Down to the Nitty-Gritty: Rooms, Rooms, Glorious Rooms!
Okay, the room. Air conditioning was an immediate win, cause Joburg can be a scorcher. Blackout curtains? YES. Bathtub? YES. Separate shower/bathtub? DOUBLE YES! My room was an oasis of calm. The in-room safe box was handy for valuables, and the mini bar was stocked with goodies. (Definitely availed myself of the bottle of water – hydration is KEY!) The slippers they provided were like clouds for my feet. Seriously, I practically lived in them.
The free Wi-Fi was blazing fast. I could seamlessly stream a show on my laptop workspace (which was a comfortable desk with enough outlets – finally!), and I was able to easily connect to all my devices (Internet access – wireless, Internet access – LAN). I didn't even have to wrestle with dodgy signals!
A funny side note: the reading light was PERFECT when I was attempting to escape the world with a good book. The bed was so comfortable, I may have accidentally overslept and almost missed breakfast. Oops! But hey, priorities, right? And the extra long bed was super thoughtful.
Breakfast: A Culinary Adventure (More Like a Delightful Stamble!)
Speaking of breakfast! Oh. My. Goodness. The breakfast [buffet] was an absolute spectacle. Forget your beige hotel breakfast. This was a culinary symphony. An Asian breakfast section tempted me – but honestly, I got distracted by the Western breakfast. The coffee/tea in restaurant selection was extensive. The best bit? The breakfast in room option. Because, let's be real, sometimes, you just want breakfast in your pyjamas. The daily housekeeping meant my room was always spotless; this service also included fresh, clean linens and towels that smelled divine.
I was there when there were a couple of small hiccups on the buffet in restaurant, but that's life! No one's perfect, and the staff were so amazing and accommodating, it turned into just a quirky part of an already fantastic experience. The room service [24-hour] was also a saviour when I was slightly peckish.
Spa, Relaxation, and the Pool with a View: Time to Unwind (Almost!)
Right, so, I tried to relax. The pool with view was breathtaking. Crystal clear water, sun loungers, and a view that stretches for miles. Unfortunately, I'm the type who can NOT relax. But I truly tried. I tried the sauna. (I sweated.) I tried the steamroom. (I almost melted.) I even booked a massage. (My shoulders are still thanking me). The Body scrub and body wrap were next on my list, but honestly, by that point, I was so blissed out, I forgot.
The Spa was an absolute haven. And the pool was a perfect place to chill, even if I ended up spending more time watching the sunset than actually swimming.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Where's the Wine??
Okay, so, food. Again, Kiwara delivers. The restaurants are divine, offering incredible International cuisine in restaurant. I loved the A la carte in restaurant option. And speaking of delicious, they had an amazing Poolside bar! The Happy hour was perfect for winding down after a day of… well, relaxing (sort of). And there was a coffee shop for when the caffeine cravings hit (often!). The bar served some interesting cocktails that I couldn't resist trying!
The Not-So-Secret Stuff: Extras and Amenities
Kiwara isn't just about luxury; it's about convenience. The concierge literally knew everything. They helped me arrange transport and gave me some excellent local recommendations. There's a convenience store, just in case you forgot anything, and the cash withdrawal service was super handy. The luggage storage was a godsend before my flight.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe and Sound
Cleanliness and safety are paramount these days. Kiwara takes it seriously. Constant daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained in safety protocol made me feel safe and comfortable.
The shared stationery removed made a lot of sense. Even though I didn't have to go to the **meetings [small gatherings], or use the *meeting/banquet facilities*.
The Imperfections (Because I'm Human!)
Okay, so, let's be real. No place is perfect. Maybe the music at the pool was a little loud for my taste? And perhaps my attempts at the gym were… minimal? (There is a fitness center, by the way.) And one time, I accidentally spilled a whole glass of wine. But the staff were so understanding, and it quickly became a funny story.
The Verdict: Go. Just Go!
Kiwara Guesthouse isn't just a place to stay; it's an experience. From the impeccable service to the stunning surroundings, the accessible features (which is SO important!), and the delicious food, it’s a true escape. It's the perfect blend of luxury, comfort, and genuine hospitality. I'll be dreaming of that pool view for weeks.
Final Rating: 9.5/10 (Minus .5 point for the slightly loud pool music!)
Would I go back? In a heartbeat. (And I suggest you do the same!)
Escape to Japan: APA Hotel Takamatsu Airport - Your Perfect Stay Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. Because this "itinerary" isn't some perfectly manicured travel brochure. This is real life, Johannesburg-style. We’re talking Kiwara Guesthouse, a place that sounds delightfully posh online but probably smells faintly of damp laundry and regret (in the best way possible). Prepare for glorious disorganisation, unexpected delights, and me, your highly unqualified guide to navigating this glorious mess.
Kiwara Guesthouse & Johannesburg: A (Mostly) Unplanned Adventure
Day 1: Arrival - And the Great Toilet Paper Heist (Maybe?)
Morning (Sometime After I Drag Myself Out of Bed): Land at OR Tambo International. Ugh. Airports. The fluorescent lighting alone is enough to trigger a existential crisis. Pray for a smooth customs process, because let's be honest, my passport photo doesn’t quite resemble the current, sleep-deprived me.
Midday (Somewhere Around "Hangry O'Clock"): Transfer to Kiwara Guesthouse. Seriously, I've seen the website photos. Stunning. Let's hope the reality isn't a tragic contrast of peeling paint and saggy cushions. I'm mentally preparing myself to possibly have to fend off the resident (probably adorable) puppy. And pray the internet works. I need to update my Instagram with some dramatic "I'm in Africa!" selfie.
Afternoon: (Possibly the most important part): Settle in, unpack (or not, because let's be real, who does that anymore?), and scope out the room. Check for bed bugs first. ALWAYS. Then the fun part: the tiny details. Is there a kettle? Good coffee? Because if not, this whole trip is starting off on the wrong foot. Then, the true test: the bathroom. I pray for running hot water, and hopefully not a toilet that sounds like a dying whale.
Evening: This is where things get dicey. Depending on how brave (and jet-lagged) I'm feeling, it's either a quiet dinner at the guesthouse (if they do dinner, and if it's not just sad frozen pizza) or a desperate Google Maps search for a restaurant that doesn't require a month's worth of savings. I will try the local restaurant if I'm brave. Possibly. Otherwise, it's the trusty take-away from the little shop near by.
Day 2: Soweto - A Rollercoaster of Emotions
Morning: Ok, this. This is the big one. I'm thinking Soweto tour. I've read a ton, and I know the history is heavy, but also incredibly important. First thing I want to do, is to grab some coffee (if available) and just BREATHE. This place is going to be incredible, I can feel it.
Midday: The Soweto tour. This is where the "emotional rollercoaster" truly kicks in, I will see Nelson Mandela House, visit the Hector Pieterson Memorial. Expect a mixture of awe, sadness, and probably a little bit of overwhelm. I'll try to process everything I'm seeing, and try to remember that this is real. I will have a million questions, and try my best to be respectful.
Afternoon: Lunch in Soweto. This is where I'm REALLY going to try to be brave. Bunny chow? Possibly. I'm imagining a total sensory overload – the smells, the sounds, the vibrant colours. Afterwards, I'm hoping to meet some amazing people, and hear their stories. They could be heartbreaking or inspiring or an awesome mix of both.
Evening: Back to the guesthouse, probably emotionally drained (in a good way). This requires a loooong shower (assuming the hot water is cooperating) and a serious debrief with myself. Maybe journal, maybe just stare at the ceiling. Then, a quiet dinner (probably something takeaway, because after that day, I am going to need a dose of comfort).
Day 3: City of Gold - or Just a Bit Tarnished?
Morning: Johannesburg city centre. This is where things get a bit chaotic. I'm planning to discover a bit of the history of this place, so maybe a walking tour of the Maboneng Precinct. I might get a little lost (almost certainly). I might also stumble across something truly incredible.
Midday: Explore the Nelson Mandela Bridge. Maybe a museum (the constitution hill, the Johannesburg art gallery, there are many options!) . I'm telling you, my indecision will be legendary. I'd like to find a cool place for lunch - somewhere with some local flavour and a decent view.
Afternoon: If I'm feeling adventurous, maybe a visit to the Apartheid Museum. Or perhaps a chilled afternoon at a cafe. I'm really hoping to strike a balance between history, culture, and just a little bit of relaxation.
Evening: Dinner, somewhere fun. I'm determined to find a restaurant with live music (because let's be real, you need some kind of soul to go down with the food). Or, well, maybe I will just eat a microwaved meal in my room, and binge-watch something terrible.
Day 4: Unexpected Detours & Farewell (Sob!)
Morning: Okay, so there's always the possibility of a last-minute adventure. Maybe a day trip to the Cradle of Humankind (if I'm feeling extra ambitious), or maybe just a leisurely brunch somewhere. I'm guessing I will start to feel a little bit sad that I'm leaving.
Midday: Last-minute souvenir shopping (because I'm that person). Try to find a decent trinket. Probably fail. Buy a t-shirt that says "I survived Johannesburg" (or something equally ridiculous).
Afternoon: Pack. This is always a disaster. I will probably end up sitting on my suitcase, praying it closes. Reflect on the trip (there's a high probability of tears and laughter).
Evening: One last dinner, hopefully somewhere special. Try to squeeze every last drop of joy out of this trip. Then, off to OR Tambo. I will be sad.
Important Considerations (and potential disasters):
The Internet: I'm already picturing a slow, unreliable Wi-Fi connection. This means Instagram updates will be delayed. Panic sets in.
Safety: Common sense is my best travel companion. I'll be aware of my surroundings, avoid flash, and keep my valuables safe. And try not to look like a total clueless tourist (though it's probably inevitable).
Culture Shock: It could happen.
Food: I will probably eat something I shouldn't.
Laundry: Might completely unravel.
The Weather: I haven't even looked. I'm just praying it doesn't rain every single day.
Final Thoughts:
This itinerary is more a framework than a rigid plan. Things will change. I will get lost. I will probably make a fool of myself. But that's ok. Because isn't that what travel is all about? Embrace the mess, the unexpected, and the sheer glorious humanity of it all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pack… I think. Wish me luck!
Kiwara Guesthouse: Johannesburg's BEST-KEPT (Almost) Secret? Let's Get Real.
Okay, spill. What's the deal with this "luxury" at Kiwara? Is it actually legit?
Alright, buckle up, buttercup. "Luxury" is thrown around a LOT in travel. At Kiwara? Yeah, it *mostly* lives up to the hype. Think plush Egyptian cotton sheets (seriously, I almost stole them!), a pool that actually *looks* like the photos (a rarity!), and a breakfast spread that could rival a small deli. But let’s be real, it's not *perfect*.
I stayed in the "Honeymoon Suite" once (more on THAT later... it involved a broken champagne flute and a near-disaster with the rose petals). The shower? Divine. The view from the balcony? STUNNING. The tiny detail that drove me crazy? The aircon sounded like a disgruntled jet engine. And the lack of a kettle in the room... utter barbarity. Yet, I'm still daydreaming about it, so take that with a grain of salt.
So, yes, legit. With a few minor hiccups. It's the type of luxury that makes you feel *slightly* guilty for enjoying it so much.
Is Kiwara Guesthouse actually in a safe area? I’ve heard Joburg can be… dicey.
Okay, let's address the elephant in the room: Johannesburg's reputation. Yes, it's a complex city, and yes, safety is a HUGE consideration. Kiwara is located in a pretty secure area, Parktown North. They've got gate security, and I've even seen guards patrolling. I felt safer than I did walking around my own neighborhood back home (let's not talk about that dodgy alleyway...)
But here's the thing – don't be an idiot. Be aware of your surroundings, don't flash expensive jewelry, and don't walk around alone at night. Common sense, people! Kiwara can only do so much. Use Uber, stay aware, and you'll be fine. I certainly was. (And I'm a klutz!)
What's the food like? Breakfast, dinner, snacks? Is it worth the extra cost?
Breakfast. Oh, the breakfast! Think... fresh fruit you’ve actually *heard* of, delicious pastries, sausages that snap when you bite into them, and the best coffee this side of the equator. It's included, and it’s an absolute *deal*. Seriously, I ate enough at breakfast to fuel a small car for an entire week.
Dinner? I didn't actually eat dinner there. Honestly, it's Johannesburg – go explore! Get out there and hit a restaurant. You're missing out if you stay in. Though I did hear the braai nights (South African BBQ) are legendary. So, yeah, breakfast is worth the stay; dinner... investigate!
What about the staff? Are they friendly and helpful? Because that's a big deal.
The staff... alright, here's where Kiwara REALLY shines. I'm not exaggerating when I say they were *fantastic*. Seriously, I've never felt so genuinely welcomed anywhere. They're the kind of people who remember your name, even if you’ve just arrived and stumbled in looking jet-lagged. Their smiles are genuine, their tips are spot-on, and they go the extra mile.
One time, I managed to lock myself out of my room (yes, I'm a complete professional traveler, I know). The staff member, instead of rolling his eyes (which I totally deserved), was incredibly patient, helped me get back in, and even offered me a complimentary glass of wine to calm my nerves. That’s the kind of service that makes you feel like you’re actually *cared* for. They made my stay, truly.
Seriously, give them all the raises. ALL of them.
Can you REALLY relax at Kiwara? Or is it all just show?
Okay, REAL talk. I went to Kiwara thinking I was going to be a sophisticated traveler. I was going to read books, sip cocktails by the pool, and generally embody a vision of relaxed perfection. That lasted about five minutes.
The truth? I *did* relax. Eventually. The pool is a game-changer (even if I did almost drop my phone in it), and the atmosphere is conducive to unwinding. But here's my confession: I’m a stresshead. I brought work with me, I checked emails constantly, and I spent way too much time worrying about things I couldn't control. BUT even *I* eventually chilled out. The comfortable beds, the peaceful surroundings, the ever-present smell of freshly brewed coffee... it does its job. So, yes, you can relax. Even if it takes you a day (or two) to get there.
What activities are close to the guesthouse? Is it a good base for exploring?
Yes! Kiwara is a decent base, not perfect, but decent. You're relatively close to the Rosebank and Sandton shopping hubs (perfect if you need a little retail therapy). Museums are an Uber ride away. The Cradle of Humankind is an easy day trip. The Apartheid Museum? A must-see and honestly changed my perspective on a lot of things.
My advice? Get a decent map (or Google Maps, I guess...) and plan. Don't try to do everything at once (trust me, I tried, and I ended up in traffic hell). Kiwara can help arrange tours too.
Okay, spill the tea: did you have any bad experiences? Be honest!
Alright, alright. The honeymoon suite. The *honeymoon* suite. Let me tell you about the honeymoon suite. First, the champagne... me, clumsy, broken champagne flute. Then the rose petals. The rose petals... I tried to make them pretty. I really did. Turns out, spreading rose petals around the bed requires more finesse than I possess. I looked like a florist had exploded. Then... well, let's just say one of the bedsheets became a casualty. (I blamed the wind, obviously.)
Aside from my utter incompetence with romance, the only other thing was the aforementioned jet-engine AC. And, you know, the Wi-Fi was a bit spotty in one corner of the room. But hey, those are minor quibbles. Kiwara is great. Just... maybe don't put me in the honeymoon suite again.
Would you recommend Kiwara Guesthouse?
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